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From Man to Dad

No man can possibly know what life means, what the world means, until he has a child and loves it. And then the whole universe changes and nothing will ever again seem exactly as it seemed before. —L. Hearn

The most profound and complicated event in a man’s life is becoming a father. It is also the least understood and, until recently, the least researched topic in the study of adult development. No life transition—not getting married, changing jobs, moving, or completing educational goals—will have as long-lasting an effect on a man’s sense of purpose as becoming a parent.

When I first became a father 34 years ago, I thought I was prepared for fatherhood. I had completed my training as a Family Therapist and was well educated in the stages of the family life-cycle. But I was not prepared for the deep and powerful reorganization of my identity that I would experience.

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Fatherhood the new “Men’s Movement”

Parenting is hard. Balancing work and family is hard. Kids are kids. Our families are
not accessories to our lives or objects we can control completely. And if we want to be the sort of parents to raise children of character and integrity, we have to unselfishly give a great deal of ourselves to the project.
—Author Unknown

One of the lasting changes that came out of the 1960’s was the Women’s Movement. What women began as a revolution, however, has become an evolution. Both women and men are continuing to move away from traditionally defined gender roles. While these role changes have perhaps been more visible for women, men are moving at their own pace towards new possibilities. The changes in role expectations are opening up a new world for men who want to be fathers. The egalitarianism that is now possible among couples allows men to express their deep desire and ability to nurture and care that was previously the object of social disapproval. Men are beginning to feel that they have a choice between spending time at work and taking time to be with their children while they grow up. Men who were able to take advantage of this possibility began to report a very deep feeling of satisfaction as well as personal growth, which they experienced by being with and caring for their babies. As other men viewed this new role-making behavior and began to hear men recount the peak experience of being present at their children’s birth, the notion of becoming a father began to take on new meaning.

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Is there equality in parenting…stereotypes of fathers

Here are three stories we found of interest this week:

How many women really want to cede control of childcare duties to men, asks Neil Lyndon a journalist with “The Telegraph” a UK newspaper.
Do women really want men to play an equal role in parenting?

Neil Lyndon has been writing on gender issues for nearly 40 years. His new ebook, Sexual Impolitics: Heresies on Sex, Gender and Feminism

Don’t believe the received wisdom that dads are bumbling and largely incompetent parents, says fatherhood myth-buster Sam Jackson. Another journalist from The Telegraph in Great Britain takes up the importance of seeing men as fathers and what is real…
10 fatherhood stereotypes and why they just aren’t true.

Not have a father in your life…listen to President Obama in a recent interview with Noah McQueen from a StoryCorps interview. The President  asks Noah to tell him more about his life.

The Fathers’ Forum edits  a weekly blog of current trends in fatherhood. We also post guest post from daddy bloggers please feel free to contact us.  We edit the best content for dads and the writings of our founder and editor Bruce Linton.

More information about the Fathers’ Forum 2015 programs.

Are you thinking of becoming a parent in the future?

Are thinking of becoming a parent in the future? Would you be willing to answer some confidential questions about your life and your future family? Want a chance to win a $20 Target gift card? The purpose of this study is to examine the many ways people think about and want to create their future families.

 The study consists of an online survey and will take approximately 20-35 minutes of your time. To qualify for the study you have to be over the age of 18, not have any children currently, and want to become a parent in the future. If you have a partner we would like them to participate too! This study has been approved by the Pennsylvania State University IRB #00001200, and I am working with Dr. Henny Bos who is an Associate Professor at the Research Institute of Child Development and Education at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands.

 If you and/or your partner are interested in participating or want further information please contact Dr. Samantha L. Tornello (Principal Investigator) via email IntendedParentStudy@gmail.com or visitwww.intendedparentstudy.com. She will send you a web link that you can use to access the study.

 Dr. Samantha Tornello

Assistant Professor of Psychology

Pennsylvania State University-Altoona

(814) 949-5351

IntendedParentStudy@gmail.com

www.IntendedParentStudy.com

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