Quote of the day…
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
How do we fall in love with our children? Don’t we just know from the moment of birth we are in love with them? As men and dads we need to know something about our “feeling nature.” Sometimes we associate “feeling” with how women experience emotions and if we don’t “feel” the way they do we are not “in touch” with our feelings. Men do experience feelings differently than women and this often gets misunderstood for us not knowing how we really feel. Here are the differences.
There is immediacy to women’s feelings, a quick response to how something feels to them. For men there is a longer response time, needing time to “think it over;” may be needing time to let the feelings come to surface. Often men are criticized for this different rhythm to the way they process feelings.
Some anthropological work reflects this different way of processing feelings. In our prehistoric tribal times women were in the village tending to children and the tasks around the fire; they needed to interact quickly and verbally with the other women. The men who were out hunting need to remain silent and still as they waited for their prey.
For dads, as we begin our journey into fatherhood we may need some time to process all that is going on inside us as we go from man to dad. Do not be afraid not to know how you feel…..give yourself time and little by little, I bet, as most dads do, that little son or daughter will be well loved and cared for by you…the dad!
If you are in dads/fathers group this may be a good topic of discussion.
“When did you discover that you had fallen in love with your child?”
If you are not in a dads group and would like to start one contact me through the
Fathers’ Forum and I will try to help you get going!