Preparing for Father’s Day, (preparing for fatherhood)
What is the consequence of valuing business and financial success above all else? In its worst form it puts profits way ahead of people’s welfare. Examples of this would be the marketing of cigarettes, probably nuclear power plants and certainly the safe use of fossil fuels and chemicals to treat our crops. But what does this have to do with preparing for Father’s day?
In my work and research with expectant and new dads this is what I have found. As men become fathers, and particularly in the early years of parenting, a profound change in perspective occurs. It is really a new way of understanding a man’s role in the “greater good” of life. It is a development where what the expectant or new father does takes on a larger meaning to him. He thinks about what the world will be like for his child. I call this the “community phase” of development. Expectant and new dads report they become aware that they want their child to grow up in a safe, healthy and caring place.
What “awakens” in the man as he becomes a dad is this sense of relationship for participating in the world in a way which will promote the best possible place for his child to live. Not in all men, but in most, it means re-examining some of his habits, choices and consequences of how he is living. In preparing and becoming a father he sees the importance of the community and the environment he is living in…and he wants it to be the best it can be for his child!
This is a new sense of a nurturing masculine. It appears to me it is almost an instinctually driven sense of self that emerges as his child is born. A nurturing masculine is developing. It is this new quality of caring that starts with his own child but radiates out into the world that may have profound effects on the next generation and beyond.
For an interesting take on how one man re-examined his life at this juncture check out David Lauer’s commentary for NPM Marketplace.