We often focus on getting our wives or partners to change so we can be happy. Becoming the best person we can — rather than trying to change our partners — is the real key to a loving relationship. What’s more, difficulties and disagreements are opportunities for us to become a more caring person — to take complete responsibility, both on the practical aspect of how we deal with the conflict, and also how we “choose” or decide to view our lives.
When we shift perspective away from “changing” the one we love to accepting them — to recognizing how much our wives/partners contribute, care for and love us, that will help with our frustrations. Even if our partners view certain situations differently then we would prefer, it is possible to uphold a loving view of what our marriage truly means.
Especially when we’re angry if we focus on the well meaning, kindness of our loved one then our anger will diminish. This is not a miracle; it’s simply the way things work at the level of positive and negative thinking. Recent research in brain science proves that by thinking of the positive aspect of why we chose our partner; it actually stimulates our brain in a way that we feel better!
If you have married or are with a loving caring, loyal partner…that is as good as it gets! If they do things and understanding things differently than you, that is normal! Try to keep this in perspective…the things that our wives do that upset us can help us keep developing and growing as a person. (Now, if you are married to a ill willed, mean and angry spouse, someone who wants to hurt…then you should be thinking about doing something else!)
If you keep experiencing the same relationship problems over and over again, it’s because you haven’t realized where the real problem lies. You’re still waiting for others to change without really working on the aspects of yourself that you need to transform.