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Marriage and Parenting

By Bruce Linton, Founder of the Fathers’ Forum
The most important things in life are not things… our relationships are! The relationship that may have the greatest impact on our own lives is the one we observed about our parents. In the same way, our relationship with our partners, our own marriage will influence our children in many different ways.

Providing good schools, participating in community and sports activities, having a computer, offering music lessons these are some of the ways we help to nurture our kids as they grow and develop. Every father wants his child to grow up to be an honest and caring person. But how does that happen?

If we reflect on our own parent’s marriage, what was it like? Did they treat each other with dignity and respect? Were they considerate and understanding with each other? How did they handle the inevitable anger and frustration that comes not just with parenting, but with life? Did they seem to enjoy being married? Why did they have children?

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Becoming a father…3 things I learned from my kids

By Bruce Linton

Becoming a father was certainly the most life changing event I have ever experienced. How prepared was I?  I had recently studied to become a Marriage and Family Therapist. My wife was a nursery RN. I thought I was prepared…

I had gone to a lot of prenatal classes. The birth was amazing!!! But I was not prepared for how the entire rest of my life would change. My book “Becoming a Dad, how fatherhood changes men” shares my story and many of the dads whom have shared their journey’s along the way in my Fathers’ Forum Program.

But in those early years I found the best path was to let my kids teach me what I needed to know. I also found in my Father’s Groups really helped too.  Although us dads were all doing things a little different; we were all having to go through the same struggles. And what I was learning from my kids they were learning from theirs too! And together we all learned to be better students!!!

Becoming a father is the most profound developmental stage in our adult development. Becoming a father makes us into the men like no other experience we have.  Becoming a father matures us and brings out the best of who we are. Sometimes we do make mistakes and embarrass ourselves and sometimes have very bad behavior and unthoughtful actions that we need to improve on.  Here are three things I learned while becoming a father that my kids made me aware of. 

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Who Was Your Father…Who Are You?

by Bruce Linton, Founder of the Fathers’ Forum

What was silent in the father speaks in the son, and often I found in the son the unveiled secret of the father. Friedrich Nietzsche

When men become fathers, they are confronted with a profound challenge to understand what “father” means to them. Most men are perplexed by this. In both my personal and professional lives, I have searched to understand why becoming a father is such an uncertain experience for today’s men.

In the fathers’ groups I have led, most men look to their own fathers as examples of how to be parents. Reflecting on their own fathers’ behavior often leaves them feeling sad, lonely, frustrated, angry and ambivalent. In our group, together, we struggle to understand and make peace with our fathers. Many of the men in my groups feel very limited by having a father who was either physically or emotionally absent from their lives. We try to understand how we can be more available and more emotionally connected with our families. Some of the men who had abusive fathers become fearful and wonder if they might hurt their own children. If we must rely on our own personal fathers as teachers or mentors on parenting, we may feel limited. To understand himself as a man, each of us must come to an understanding of his own father and his father’s influence on his life, both positive and negative.

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Is there equality in parenting…stereotypes of fathers

Here are three stories we found of interest this week:

How many women really want to cede control of childcare duties to men, asks Neil Lyndon a journalist with “The Telegraph” a UK newspaper.
Do women really want men to play an equal role in parenting?

Neil Lyndon has been writing on gender issues for nearly 40 years. His new ebook, Sexual Impolitics: Heresies on Sex, Gender and Feminism

Don’t believe the received wisdom that dads are bumbling and largely incompetent parents, says fatherhood myth-buster Sam Jackson. Another journalist from The Telegraph in Great Britain takes up the importance of seeing men as fathers and what is real…
10 fatherhood stereotypes and why they just aren’t true.

Not have a father in your life…listen to President Obama in a recent interview with Noah McQueen from a StoryCorps interview. The President  asks Noah to tell him more about his life.

The Fathers’ Forum edits  a weekly blog of current trends in fatherhood. We also post guest post from daddy bloggers please feel free to contact us.  We edit the best content for dads and the writings of our founder and editor Bruce Linton.

More information about the Fathers’ Forum 2015 programs.