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What Dad’s Do

I was at the community pool yesterday. I was watching a dad help his 4 year old daughter get in the pool. She kept walking up to edge and then shying back. She saw her friend playing in the water with her dad and clearly wanted to get in the pool with her dad. He tried coaxing her and reassuring her that the “water isn’t to cold,” “you are a good swimmer,” I will hold hold you and I won’t let go.” She began to cry saying she couldn’t get in.

Her dad got out of the pool picked her up and said it will be OK…”you love the water.” And while she was crying he carried her in the pool…while she conducted somewhat of a tantrum. In about 45 seconds…holding her hands and pulling her through the water she was laughing and looking like she was having about the best of a time.

This is what dads do…help us take the “plunge” when we perhaps are tentative about taking the risk. It has something to do with boundaries.

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Being a Dad…”the small things”

Hiking in the Desolation Wilderness and learning to fish together at Pinecrest Lake are memorable moments with my son. Going to Paris with my daughter when she turned 16 or hiking to Yosemite falls when she was six are truly beautiful moments we both treasure.

There are memories I have with both them of playing Beatles music in the morning when they got up or for a while the Brandenbeurg Concertos. Wanting us to have an inspiring day! Getting the lunches ready and making sure they had all the stuff they need for school. Those routines are probably just a blur for them…but there were a lot of them!

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Dads and Emotion

New Dad Times welcomes guest blogger and dad Mark Stelzner.

Dads and Emotion

I was thinking today about the burden that Dad’s have in our society today. Dad’s are expected to be more involved with the care taking of their child after so many years of being the bread winner. This change doesn’t happen over night. There are generations of momentum to work against. It takes time for the transition.

Men are then sent mixed messages about being in touch with their emotions. Men are supposed to be more emotional in this day and age but then often if they are, they are seen as too feminine.

When Dad’s do get in touch with their emotions, sometimes it’s the first time, and that can be incredibly challenging, especially in the context of taking care of a baby. The expectation is that Moms need support during this time but there isn’t enough emphasis on the Dad.

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Your Own Frame of Mind Will Influence Your Child’s Future

Welcome guest blogger Rachel Thomas to the New Dad Times, blog of the Fathers’ Forum.

Parents influence the minds of their children far more than what many of them realize. While they are young, children are absorbing every bit of information as they develop. The majority of this information comes from you. Everything you say, the way you act, and even many of your mannerisms will become integrated into your child. The way your child will approach this information can also be influenced by how you approach similar situations in your life.

The teachers at school may be developing their knowledge of studies, but it is you who will teach them about real life instances and adaptation. You can influence a variety of aspects of their life such as:

  • Social interaction
  • Eating habits
  • Linguistic skills
  • Emotional responses
  • Even sense of humor

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